Sunday, January 9, 2011

Thoughts...

So I've been thinking since my lessons in Ocala, FL with Berin and my lesson with Nancy last month. I think I've been rushing in my mind as to where we should be and what we should do. That isn't what I should be doing. That isn't good for me or Decker.

I think the pressure from friends to already have Decker at a certain point started to push me into thinking it too, even though I wasn't doing what they suggested. Pushing Decker to ride before he is emotionally ready online isn't going to help our relationship! I won't do it! I really feel like we are starting to connect on another level online & I'm not going to let outside pressure sway my principles or our relationship!

Parelli is so much more than riding! It is truly life changing! I had some people want to buy Decker right after I got him! They wanted to take him straight into showing English pleasure as a 2 year old to promote his sire, These Irons Are Hot. I'm so glad I listened to my gut then, because I know Decker would have been miserable now. I know my gut is right again. I call those my God instincts!

I'm currently reading the book "The Inner Game of Tennis," a suggested book from Pat Parelli. It is great. I'm also fighting with the idea of competing at all. I can't remember where I heard the quote, but I love it..."Competition is the root of all evil when it comes to animals and children." I agree. Competition really creates some Monsters when people put their goals before their principles. I promised Decker, I will not do that ever again. Years of seeing crabby horses in the show ring always bothered me, but now I know why. I always cared how the horses felt. People call us scared or non-competitive, but I don't think that's true any more! I think we are just better people who care for our animals and the relationship that we have with them after the show is over.

So to reel in my jumbled thoughts...I'm going to take on one session at a time and keep plugging away at making our relationship better. I need to become more of a leader and learn how to read his horsenality better as well. We have a long way to go, but it doesn't matter. Focusing on the time is like watching water boil! It takes forever. If I can focus on the relationship and helping us become mentally, emotionally, and physically fit, I think everything will fall into place!

Berin told me that with a little more time Decker and I should progress very quickly, after he gave me more leadership. Nancy also told me to believe in myself, because I was farther along than I realized! :) I'm working on our level one-level two audition now. I'm going to just start checking things off the list as they happen and then send in a video and see what happens! :)

Email after my Lesson with Nancy Faulconer 12-30-2010

Hi Nancy!

Well the past two days have been awesome with Decker! I feel so much more confident with him. I think I start doubting myself and just need some positive encouragement to push me again. I know we have it in us, its just coming together and making it happen!

I sat down and wrote notes about our lesson, so I could read over them and really make sure I "got" it! :)
The key things I learned were:
FOCUS!!!!!! Look where I'm going and have a plan. Leaders don't look to the horse.

Phase one is the thought and go straight to phase 4 if he ignores me. It is better to make an impression on him quickly than TAPPING and desensitizing him.

Help him move when he needs to or acts like a punk.

For every inch he takes, make him move a foot away from me.

Extreme Friendly game will give him more confidence. Do more friendly game in zones 4 and 5.

80/20 ratio of play and rest.

Hang in there when he throws a fit...they don't last that long.

Change it up so the games and patterns don't become chores.

I need to breath and have more confidence in myself.

And finally read him. Blowing out, head down, yawning, sleepy look, standing quietly, licking and chewing.

I know that's alot, but I wanted to let you know how much you helped me. I think my mind was in a melt down stage when I contacted you. All the negative comments and pressure from everyone around me had just beat me down to nothing. I was even doubting myself. Not the program at all, just if I could do it alone! Now I know I can! Like you said, it will all fall into place all of a sudden!

Yesterday and today I worked with Decker! He was great!!!! So willing and he had such a great look on his face since I knew how to get the "cream off the top!"
I basically spent 2 to 3 hours with him working on everything we touched on in our lesson. I don't know if it was luck or if I'm getting better at predicting when he is going to have a punk moment, but the first time I asked Decker to jump the barrels he tried to throw his shoulder into me again and I put pressure with my carrot stick on his shoulder at the perfect moment! He jumped it! He knows that is what I'm asking now!!!!!! I let him rest after the first jump yesterday and then later went back to it and he willingly jumped it again. It was awesome! Today I only had him jump it a few times, but every time he knew what to do and was great! I even tried a little more liberty! He walked with me for a few steps and then he decided that he had to leave! I helped him move and it only took a few times around at the canter before he was back to wanting to please. I did what you said and asked him to keep disengaging his hindquarters. It worked and once I got him connected again, I quit. It was great! I found all of his itchy spots and both sessions ended really well.

Sorry for the book! I'm just really excited. I really think Decker enjoyed it to. When I put him back out in his pasture, he just stood there with me. :)

Thanks again for everything!
I got the links and the invite to the communication challenge! I'm going to try to make it! I'll send an official RSVP and money as soon as I know if I can come.
Brooke
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